a history of wrestlemania
(in which a cinnamon roll makes an appearance)
Wrestlemania 37 took place earlier this month. The only reason I know this is because a “news” update inexplicably showed up in one of my social-media feeds.
I didn’t want to be rude, so I read a few sentences about it. I didn’t recognize a single name, and even if I had, I still wouldn't be able to pick any of these people out of a police lineup.
Apparently, however, it was “historic”.
The first Wrestlemania featured a tag team match with Hulk Hogan & Mr. T facing Rowdy Roddy Piper & Paul "Mr. Wonderful" Orndorff. In 1985, this was important to me.
Hulk Hogan was my hero. Mr. T was B.A. Baracus. Roddy Piper had assaulted Cindy Lauper and needed his butt kicked. Paul Orndorff just needed "Mr. Wonderful" kicked off his butt.
I cared deeply about these things in the 7th grade. Especially the notion that Cindy Lauper, star of my first concert experience, needed to be defended.
I didn’t watch that first Wrestlemania. I'm pretty sure it was on a channel we didn’t have. Or it might have been after my bedtime. I don’t remember.
What I do remember, is that the next morning I was at breakfast with my parents. We were at the Silver Spoon, and I had a giant cinnamon roll. The morning paper had an article about the wrestling match on the front page of the sports section. There was a picture of Mr. T holding Rowdy Roddy over his head.
I can still recall the wave of relief in reading that the good guys had won. That justice had been served. And that girls would be free to continue having fun.
I don't know that this qualifies as historical, but it's certainly part of my history. It's not the wrestling as much as the breakfast. The Silver Spoon. The cinnamon roll.
My parents. Sitting with me. Humoring me that a giant man in a yellow Speedo was relevant.
But mostly sitting with me.